Did I Do Enough?

Did I Do Enough?

by Jane Eppard

“We all juggle so much. You did the best you could do in that season of your life. It was enough. You need to give yourself grace.”

Occasionally I forget to log a new password in my books—convinced I’ll remember—only to require a reset the next time I log in.

Some of these resets arrive in an email with a link that offers a slim ten-minute window before expiring.  

Murphy’s Law:  the email arrives when I’m in a meeting or on a call.  But the beauty in this is there is grace—you can request new links multiple times!

While accessing one of these links, my thoughts drifted to my daughter. She’s been on my mind a lot.  

She graduated in May and accepted a position teaching special education for middle schoolers—in Colorado. That’s a far cry from Michigan!

  • Am I proud? Absolutely—she has the confidence to spread her wings. 
  • Am I happy for her? You bet I am—she loves the mountains and is excited to start her teaching career.
  • Is my heart ready for this? Well, that’s a complicated story—bear with me. 

I often find myself forgetting why I walked from one room to another- “What did I come in here to do again?”  But my mental filing cabinet is pretty well organized when it comes to the things I didn’t do—or perhaps, what I should have done.

Such is the case with my daughter. I worry she grew up in the shadow of her younger brother. Was I too focused on his doctor’s appointments, developmental milestones, and so many other things—did I do enough? These words cycle through my mind like a broken record.  

I want a link! I want to request a reset. But that’s not how life works, is it? No rewinding or magic links to click. The passage of time from birth to adulthood feels as slim as that ten-minute window I get when resetting a password. 

And without a doubt, parents raising a child with a disability share my insecurities. There is an additional, often complex, layer to parenting. 

When there are siblings, there is the common saying of, “Did I do enough?” The constant push and pull are a challenge that’s emotionally draining for parents. It’s hard.

Longing for a reset, I revisit a conversation with a parent I met through a Family Hope Foundation event at the Whitecaps. This mom has been through a similar transition, so I decided it was ok to share my angst.

Her words were packed full of wisdom and reassurance. “We all juggle so much. You did the best you could do in that season of your life. It was enough. You need to give yourself grace.”  

I attend almost all of the events hosted by Family Hope Foundation. I love our community.  Friendships are made, information is shared, and there’s no shortage of laughter, smiles, and hugs.

I’m thankful we offer these experiences. When life fills a family’s plate to the brim, an opportunity to get out—together—for fun and fellowship is restorative. It brings balance, a needed break, and builds precious family memories.  

Recently, Merissa and Val enjoyed a special outing with their daughters during the Family Hope Foundation Whitecaps event.

“Attending the Whitecaps game was such a treat for me and my daughter Divya! We enjoyed food, fun, and fellowship alongside good friends and many other families. There’s something beautiful about being surrounded by families who understand disability and our challenges. 

Going to an event where I don’t have to research accessibility for my daughter’s mobility needs is refreshing.  I know the venue will be accessible, and I can relax and socialize with friends. 

This was Divya’s first Whitecaps game. I love sharing “firsts” with her and seeing her awe and excitement as her world widens with new experiences.”               
-Merissa

A beautiful piece about our community is the support. When a parent needs a reset, families lift each other up—often when it’s needed the most.  

Families remind each other they’re doing their best, and it IS enough.  

Community is much more than belonging. It’s about finding joy and shared experiences—it’s what makes belonging matter.  It’s essential. 

Jane Eppard
Executive Director

p.s. Parenting a child with disabilities can feel like traveling to an unexpected destination. And parents worry the siblings feel left behind, asking themselves, “Did we do enough?”  That’s where Family Hope Foundation steps in, offering events that bring families together.  Having this community to connect to is essential! 

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